The Human Invader
by Incyray
Summary: Alternate Universe- instead of Zim invading Earth, Dib has come to invade Irk! He lands in a old but technologically prosporous Irken city called Virrizzicon. and the only one there who realises that Dib is human and not Irken is Zim! will Dib be able to fell the planet and it's empire? or will the secrets of the city change his feelings about the violent Irken race?
1. Chapter 1

Zim sat in his lab, bored out his mind. Nothing had really happened lately; he was kicked out of the Great Assigning, and now all he had to do was loll around in his base. He was still on Irk, stuck on his home planet without a mission. Ok, so he had scientist stuff to do, but otherwise there was nothing. In fact he was waiting to kicked out of _that_ too, since the last experiment they'd let him do ate Myuki and Spork. Ever since then they'd just kind of made him lab helper or something. 'hey Zim, go grab me some xenon this thing needs to stay stable or it'll blow up in my face' 'Zim, I need a niobium rocket nozzle, go get it _now_' it was really boring and it made him feel sure that he'd get dumped out of the proper labs sooner or later. Really, the only lab he ever ran experiments in was his personal lab at home. That was it.

His antennae twitched when he heard a bleeping sound. He turned his head to his computer screen, where he had a foreign signal locating set up out of sheer boredom. He tapped the screen and focused in on the strange signal. It fizzled and throbbed a bit, and though it was garbled up a bit, he could make out some speech: "I'll_ crush_ those monsters like the insects they are! I'll- the transmission/recording got a bit fuzzy,- nothing!" the voice said. Then it garbled even more for a minute.

"what is this?! Who are they going to crush?" Zim yelled into his computer, leaning into it heavily. This was intriguing. He had to know who this was. The transmission became clear again; it made a loud _bsshwooosh _noise and then refocused, the sound of screams and objects flinging around something echoing through his lab room. Then the voice steadied itself, accompanied by whizzing noise that soon faded. "gah, where did that turbulence come from? Could they have some sort of field on this terrible planet?" it grumbled, annoyed about whatever had just happened.

"well, there it is. Stupid planet full of space bugs! I'll push them into extinction like they've done to so many other creatures!" it yelled, it's voice becoming filled with rage. The signal, and in turn the voice, had become much more focused. It was no longer garbled like it used to be…

"COMPUTER! LOCATE THE SOURCE OF THIS NOW!" Zim screamed up at his roof. He needed to know who and where this was and NOW.

"yeah yeahz, I'll get to it in a minute." Computer mumbled defiantly. Zim bared his teeth in anger and his antenna pressed against the back of his skull. He screamed back at his malfunctioning computer- "I WANT YOU TO FIND THE SOURCE AND FIND IT NOW! OR, OR- I'LL BLOW YOU UP OR SOMETHING!"

"pfff, fine." Computer said and then got to finding the location of the signal. It brought up a map on the screen. It depicted Zim's ringed home planet with a moving, blinking red dot. Above it in irken script it said 'SIGNAL SOURCE'. NOO! _The source is a ship! It has to be- and it's heading straight for irk with it's deadly intentions! _Zim screamed in his mind. Not only that but it appeared to already have entered Irk's atmosphere. He watched with a panicked look on his face as the dot came closer and closer to the planet's surface.

Zim couldn't take it anymore. He tapped the screen a few ties and it zoomed in on the dot's decent. He zoomed up to until he could see the exact location of it and everything around it. He read the names of the cities around it, all of which were written in Irken. After he'd read them all, already sweating from fear, he screamed at the top of his lungs(er, squeedlyspooch). "GAAAAAH! IT'S HEADED STRAIGHT FOR ME!" his voice then reduced itself to a whisper. "it's going to land in the same city I'm in it's going to land in Virrizzikon in Virrizzikon where I am right now I'm going to die holy shit I'm going to die!" his sentences merged into one, long one that he droned on and on, growing louder with each syllable. He dared to turn his head back to the screen and watched the dot approach Irk's surface.

Zim curled into a ball on his chair. He tucked his knees up to his chest and rested his head on top of them. He was scared out of his mind. He didn't even know what this being was; only that it wanted him dead along with his entire empire. His thoughts continued to revolve around this until he snapped them. He wasn't going to let himself get this worked about some dumb ship landing in virrizzicon. No. Never. Virrizzikon was powerful irken city; one that held triumphs of science and combat skills. He would _not_ let himself believe that a silly ship was going blow it all up. Virrizzikon had _walls_; huge city walls that bared the inner city, outer city, and a few thousand years ago they bared it from war. A terrible war between the irkens and another species over claims on the right to live on the planet.

Dib leapt out of the hatch on his ship. It was an Earthenian one; built with some little engineering techniques from other planets but mostly stuff learned on his home planet. It was a pretty chrome white and shaped like the classic shuttle. But this one held a secret technology not previously used by man.

Dib pressed a series of buttons on it's side and stepped back. The shuttle morphed and shifted, and finally settled in a domed shape. Then, it put up a hologram to look just like structures around him; tall, angular and pink with purple marking. Dib walked up to his newly formed house and the slid down to let him. Now was his time to get prepared for tomorrow. He had a empire to destroy, and he had get to work immediately.


	2. Chapter 2

Dib walked down the hall of his base and into it's hidden lower levels. There, he would find the best places to gather info on the Irken's weaknesses. Gaz was left on the upper level; she refused to follow her brother any further. She argued that she'd been forced into coming this far, and that she didn't _care _if their father said anything; she wasn't going to waste her time helping Dib obliterate Irk. Knowing how dangerous she was Dib had just let her be, and thus had to do his research alone.

Sitting down at his computer, Dib began his search for a good location on Irk to gather information. He hated the planet and it's inhabitants. All they did was destroy and wipe out entire civilizations. He didn't _care_ if they had amazing feats of technology or a united empire(unlike earth's many squabbling countries). He wanted them gone, gone forever so they could never do harm ever again.

Bingo. He found what he had been looking for: a place of great intelligence. In the very city he'd built in, there was a laboratory in need of new recruits. _Just perfect_, he thought. This was a brilliant place to learn of the Irken's weak points! He could go as a biologist writing a book in need of extra info, a chemist, oh, anything could work! All he needed was to sign up for the spot!

That thought reminded him of another important duty he had. If he was even going to show his face in this dreaded Irken metropolis, he's need a disguise. He wrote down the address of the lab and headed to get started on the costume. He walked off to another sector of his base to get started.

Zim was still shaking, curled in a defensive ball. This was terrifying. But then, he realized something: what if he was only one who knew about this? _Then it's decided_, he thought, _I'LL stop this thing! Yes! I will be praised; a hero! _Zim stretched, and then hopped off his chair. He was going to go right to the source of this menace and blow it sky high!

He swerved towards his combat room. In it were walls and walls, all covered in weapons and armor. He walked up to the wall of his most heavy duty stuff and started getting himself ready. He put on reinforced steel(of course spray painted pink) armor and grabbed his biggest gun that could be carried. The armor had a helm like a gladiator's, but the face was covered by a colored plate of glass and had holed at the back for his antenna. The rest covered every other inch of skin on his body. There were chain-fabric hybrid pieces for sensitive areas like his throat and joints, and hard metal for the rest that didn't bend. Of course, it had a big hole of the back for his pak to fit through. The arm guards were ovular and round, and had more of the chain-fabric for his fingers. The fingers had three holes that his claws poked through; diamond stiff and ready to strike.

Huge plasma gun hefted over his armored shoulder, Zim headed to the elevator and out his front door. The streets outside were quiet and empty; work was over and most Irkens were tucked away resting. Sure, sleep wasn't exactly _necessary _for them, but it was nice to have some minutes of peace and quiet before the hustle-and-bustle of tomorrow. Out at this late hour, there were only a few Irkens at the occasional store or out for a walk.

Then Zim realized something. He didn't know _what_ under this black night sky to be looking for! He supposed something out of the ordinary, but if these things were as smart as Irkens, they'd know to make their base look like everything else did! He cursed in his mind, dumbfounded on where to start his search. Feeling stupefied, he simply began to walk down the street, with nothing but his hope of finding something odd as company.

Zim knew this street well; he'd always been too lazy to actually _drive_ his ship the short distance to work, and thus instead walked. This gave him an idea. He knew there were no plans of further construction, and he knew every building and crevice and ally on the streets. He'd know for sure if there was something new here. So he picked up speed(as much as he could with all the heavy armor) and began racing down the streets, flicking his head from side to side as he went. So far things were the same as ever. Discouraged, Zim slowed to loping jog. He continued to look from left to right as he walked, still having a glimmer of hope that he's find something odd. Then he saw it.

Though as angular and pink as the other buildings in Virrizzikon, there was a new structure stuck into a large alley way. It's paint was brighter and shinier than the houses around it; a tell-tale sign that it was new. _This is it!_ He thought. _This is that guy I heard ranting on my transmission scanner! _ He ran up to the new building eagerly, already excited about the fight he predicted to ensue. He slammed his fist into the button that rang the bell. He heard some scuffling from inside, and then the door opened.

A brown eyed Irken with antenna that ended in a slightly longer hook than normal but wore a blue shirt and black jacket, pants, and boots appeared in the open doorway. They both paused for a moment, Zim confused as hell and this other Irken apparently dumbfounded. Then he spoke- "uhm, do I, know you?"

"… uh, eh, I, uhm… I just heard a funny transmission around the area and came to see what was going, that is all.." Zim answered after a brief wait. He didn't get it! How could there be an Irken here when the transmission told him otherwise? Could he be a disloyal rebel? Maybe… then it struck him. _His voice! I know that voice! _

"wait a minute!" Zim said as the other Irken turned to go back inside, stopping mid-step. "I know your voice!" Zim's voice grew into a shout. The other irken's eyes seemed to show a brief flash of fear, but it was quickly replaced by false confusion.

"you do? How?" he asked. But before Zim could answer with a screaming mini-rant, a third voice came up from in the house.

"DIB! Get back in here and close the door; you're letting the cold in and I'm trying to focus on vampire piggy hunter 3." The voice was grim and dark, barely more than an agitated mumbling. The irken, presumably Dib, shouted back to the other, feminine voice. "but Gaz! There's an ali-" he was cut short but deranged stuffed animal with red eyes grabbing him and dragging him inside. The stuffed dragon then pushed the door shut.

Zim didn't leave though. He perked his antenna a bit and listened carefully. There were sounds of this 'Dib' being mauled by the robo-plush dragon and the bleeps and bloops of a video game, along with Dibs screams of agony. Then the screaming and mauling stopped and Zim heard footsteps heading for the back of the house.

Semi-defeated in the prospect of his cause, Zim hopped off the porch and started on his way home. He began talking to nobody in particular; or perhaps himself. "I don't get it! He sounded just like that guys who wanted to attack Irk, but he seemed perfectly normal. Ok… so I've never heard of a game like 'vampire piggy hunter 3' or names like 'gaz' and 'dib', but, I dunno… thought that _monstrous __**thing **_that attacked Dib was a bit far on the normal scale…"

Having arrived home, Zim went straight to his armory and put his guns and armor all away. Though, he took out a few plasma pistols and stuffed them in his pak, and one in his hidden pocket. _Maybe I'll need them_, he thought. _Maybe…_


	3. Chapter 3

Zim stood at attention, his tiny frame stiff and proud. The head of the labs he worked at was about to give some huge announcement, and he had every one rounded up to hear it. Beside him was Platinum, and Kreek was at his other side. Behind him were a dozen other irkens, all as rigid as he was. In front of them stood Irmix, the head instructor for the Reverberation labs.

Irmaix finally spoke. "today, we will be receiving a new recruit. He is new to the city, so be _nice_ and **don't** kill him in the laser area. Ok?" before anyone could speak up he continued, "good! Hmm…" he surveyed the group for a moment. "Zim, you will be his lab partner. Therefore I expect you to try and contain yourself as much as you can. And don't use him as a test dummy like you did your last partner." He then waved his hand in a gesture for the new recruit to come in from the hall.

In walked an amber-brown eyed irken with slightly longer antenna than average, dressed in a blue shirt and black jacket, boots, pants, and gloves. He glanced around nervously, his eyes widening a bit at the sight of zim but immediately relaxing. He then walked over to his new partner, who was staring at him in disbelief. Irmix dismissed them, and all the other scientists headed off to their own departments. After Irmix left, it was only zim and dib.

"I KNOW YOU! You'r the same guy from yesterday! Dib, Dib-monster!" Zim screamed at him. Dib was taken aback for a moment, but then he return Zim'd intensity with a glare.

"so you remembered, huh? You little scum, I'll pour acid on you!" Dib retorted, and the rants began. That is, until Kreek walked in on them. She was a medium small irken, with pretty red eyes and triangularly curled antenna, she wore a long white coat and was carrying a test-tube.

"hey, I was gonna ask-" she stopped when she saw Zim and Dib ranting like children. "I'll just go ask somebody else for hydrochloric acid…" she mumbled and then walked away. Zim and Dib didn't even seem to have noticed, and kept ranting.

"I KNEW IT! YOU, you, you TRAITOR!" Zim screamed at dib, standing on a chair and waving a finger at him. Dib glared at him and stood on a chair himself.

"I'm no traitor!" he yelled back. Zim just growled at him.

"Only _traitors_ ever threaten to _crush_ their empire!" Zim folded his arms over his chest and lifted his head up high. Glaring at dib from the side through narrowed eyes, he continued. "You _disgust_ me, you disloyal scum!"

"Fine Zim.i won't share the labs with you then. You'll have to go bother some other scientist for a work space." Dib said matter-of-factly. Zim hopped his chair and walked over to dib, who had already gotten off of his.

"No you're not! Traitors don't deserve advanced lab equipment! And there is _no_ way I'm bothering that nut case Platinum!" Zim said in his ranting tone. He shoved Dib aside and went into the lab, shutting the door behind him with a slam.

"HEY! You can't just ditch me, Zim! I'm your lab partner!" Dib shouted back at him, and then ran off after the short irken. He pried the lab door open, which Zim was straining to hold closed. When he finally got it open, Zim was flung back and unto the floor. He quickly sprang to his feet and made a beeline for the chemicals. He grabbed a silvery-gray metal in his gloved hand and held it up triumphantly.

"what's so special about a hunk of metal Zim?" dib asked in snobbish tone. Zim did a little skipping dance, waving it in the air.

"it's _Thallium_! Thallium is _toxic_! You'll _die_ if you ingest it! Hahahahahaha!" Zim replied in a freakish sing-song tone, and then began to laugh maniacally. "Dib, you disgusting traitor, you'll never see the light of day again!" Zim then rushed at him, holding the Thallium in his hand. Dib screamed and ran.

Irmix was walking around, checking on his scientists and tracking their progress. When he passed Zim's lab, however, he was greeted by screams, crazed laughter, and the sounds of boots scampering around the room. Through the semi-opaque windows he could see the silhouettes of Zim and Dib running around in circles, with Zim holding a lump in his hand.

Sighing, Irmix opened the door. "stop this madness right now! This is a _lab_, not an asylum!" irkix shouted at the two boys. When Zim heard his voice he froze, and then stood taught with his hands behind his back.

"hey, why'd you stop- oh…" Dib asked, but then thought better of it. He turned his head to see Irmix glaring at them as if they were children. He looked to Zim, who stood as rigid as a steel bar, and then copied him.

"ugh, you little smeets! I ought to give you to Platinum for the rest of the day!" he scolded them. "actually, that's a very good idea. Platinum will do a great job keeping an eye on you infants. Let's go." He paused for a moment and then spoke to Zim. "and no more Thallium for you." He said, snatching the metal away from the smaller irken. Irmix then picked walked over to Zim and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and then the same with dib. Carrying the two by their artificial scruffs, he brought them over to Platinum's lab. Once they were there he dropped them onto the floor quite unceremoniously.

"what?! Zim is no _smeet_; it's _Dib_ who started it! He's a filthy _traitor_!" Zim complained to Irmix, pointing a dib with his gloved finger. Irmix just shook his head as the two began arguing and ranting again. He pushed the door to Platinum's lab open. Inside were Platinum himself and his partner, Kreek. "kreek, platinum, these incompetent smeets will be joining you in bio-chemical warfare. Don't complain; just keep an eye on them. Ok? Good." Irmix then shoved them in and closed the door behind, leaving them on their own.

The four irkens glanced back and forth from each other, and then, finally, Platinum spoke. "alrighty then! Zim, you'll work with me, and Dib will work with kreek." He walked over to Zim and wrapped his arm around him affectionately. Zim hissed and tried to squirn away, but the taller irken was too strong. "let's start with the reaction of water-dissolved chlorine on irken skin. K? let's go!" and he dragged Zim off to his doom.

"I hate you…" Zim muttered under his breathe.


End file.
